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dancing around a tree [Jul. 28th, 2009 11:26 am]
I'm so excited for the trip to India! All this planning and writing packing lists and getting visas is so new because all I've ever done for past trips was to throw some things into a bag and get driven to the airport. Good thing I'll be traveling with an experienced traveler. I'll be doing drawings and taking lots of pictures while I'm there so I'll post up as much as I can when I'm back. Now it's just 2 more weeks of waiting and planning till we fly off, and I'm making an India playlist to take the edge off my excitement.

My new portfolio website is finally up, go take a look at laprie leporidae and let me show you just what I can do. :)

I just made my first sale last week of one of the books at Cat Socrates Cafe and it's such an awesome feeling to know that something I made will be displayed in someone's home. People have been trying to open my books though, and that has caused the other two to split open, which means I need to do reparation work. It's not that bad, but just really funny how people like to touch and poke their fingers into things.
Linkplay tag

Well hello, old friend. [Jul. 13th, 2009 12:03 pm]
I assume everyone's been thinking that this journal is dead, after donkey years of non-activity, and maybe wondering what I've been up to? Writing a journal online is risky business, you never know who's going to read it and who is actually going to care, then you tell yourself that hey, who cares if anyone cares, I do this for myself and not to fuel the world ruled by narcissistic blogging queens and gossip kings, but deep down inside, you know that you want someone out there to read your words and go, "Hey, I feel this way too, and I care about this person even though I don't know him/her." It's human nature to want people to care guys, don't deny it.

Anyway, an update is in order. And while I can hardly say that I've been wonderfully productive and awesomely successful, I have had some busy mad times these past few months, and plans for the remaining times ahead.

Let's see.


In June, there was Nude&Print, our exhibition at 2902 Gallery. It was to promote our love for print, and the concept of "nude" being bare, the bare essentials of print, and the nude figure being one of the most inspirational images in art. Works ranged from illustrations to photography to installations, and I am so so proud of everyone who worked together to make this all happen. It was an experience that I wouldn't have exchanged for anything else.


My work was three paper pulp paintings encased in vintage encyclopedias. Inspiration for them came from shaping and playing with the paper pulp, then looking at text and linking the idea of knowledge, how we perceive certain kinds of information and what the idea of knowledge means to people - is it just books, or ideas, raw information, the truth? Or do we bend the truth to suit our purpose? Just three child-like images that you can look at in anyway that you want, and put on your library wall. Leave a message if you're interested in giving the paintings a home - they're currently sitting on a shelf in my studio and I would love, love to see them in a cafe or bookstore where people can appreciate them.

After Nude&Print, I did a 5-week stint in STPI, helping out in the paper room, poking my nose into things and trying to find out as much I could about print-making. It was truly awesome to see how the printers work and the level of quality in the artwork that they produce. If ever I have a chance to work there permanently, it would be just..wow. Yes. I can bear with mood swings and getting yelled at if I just get to work on artwork and do printmaking for the next few years of my life. And while there, I got back into running, so now I'm being all healthy living and running every week at east coast, maybe training for the next stand chart marathon. Running just gives me the most incredible high and the feeling that I'm using my own two legs to get somewhere, that It's just me and the road, me against time, or me against distance with no other people getting in the way, it's really great.

I think people just have to take time out and listen to themselves, and reflect. I'm not saying this in a preaching way, because come on, you know that I know that you know that I say stupid mean things sometimes, I'm sarcastic, bitchy, nitpicky and critical, but I do try to be encouraging to people who need it, and I do watch what I say and watch for the right time and place to say certain things, because what comes out of your mouth is a direct reflection of who you are, what you believe in, and what kind of upbringing you've had. Ever since FYP and ending school, I've become very aware of how people work, how things are done in the industry, and how important timing is in doing things. it's not about saying what you like and doing whatever you like, and not even about freedom of speech, but more about tact and the appropriate words to get you the impression that you want to make on people. And let's face it, we all love our drama but the wrong words can create really unnecessary drama, and they can hurt people or stop someone from being their best. I don't know, I'm just rambling basically, because of an episode when a couple of friends including myself were offended or ticked off at how someone was behaving, and I thought I knew this person well enough to say that it's just part of her personality, but people change more that we expect and while we're essentially still the same people we were when we were running around in P.E. shorts and pinafores, we've got our own lives, our own friends and our own codes of behavior. I just thought she'd be a little smarter and ninja-like in her approach, that's all.

Sorry if you don't know what I'm talking about, and congratulations on reading this far, I admire your patience.

On to the future, there's more work to come, and I'll post up things I've been doing. Just gotta get some illustrations out, and my self-marketing, because it's high time I show the industry just what I can do! And a trip to India is in the near future, it's gonna be an adventure! I'm going there with little money and no experience, but with proper planning and a sense of adventure and lots of courage, I'll be alright. More than alright in fact, I'm convinced that a train ride a la The Darjeeling Express is going to change my life. Next year sees a couple of decisions I have to make, the option of studying abroad or locally, and the non-option of whether I have enough funds to do so. So it's work, work, work and hopefully things will play out fine.

Life's as fabulous as you make it, darlings.
Link3 play tag

(no subject) [Apr. 5th, 2009 06:19 pm]
[Tags|, ]

Every mirror I look into is a reflection of my inadequacy, the lack of something essential that I need to survive, to be motivated, independent, successful. And my efforts to look for a job are not created out of want or need, but out of the desire to make up for what I lack, and even in that I fall short.


My hands shake. I can't draw a straight line or a strand of eyelash. After three years in design school all I have to show is the deterioration of whatever "artistic" talent I thought I had, and how ironic is it that I am unable to draw in the style that I have been mocking all these years. Pot calling the kettle black indeed.
Link3 play tag

all these people drinking lover's spit [Feb. 26th, 2009 05:39 pm]
It's that funny feeling again, of being on the edge of a precipice, swaying, tipping, the wind pushing against gravity's insistent tug, and my mind a blank - leaving the question of "What's next?" dangling in midair as I consider the objects around me; shirts, pants, a mess of sheets, two pairs of glasses, two pairs of legs, arms, hands, feet. I can't remember which body parts are mine and which are hers.

You know that feeling? Of almost being sure and yet undecided on where you are, of who you are? I had almost grasped it once, caught that moth of being, of self-awareness, caught it in my quivering palm then shuddered as its dusty wings brushed against my skin and let it go. I watched it fly, dazed and confused, into tall shrubs and lavender bushes, to join that collective pool of moths, of fleeting moments that leave a lingering discomfort as they flutter away. It's this indecisiveness that kills us all, that fig tree analogy that Plath knows so well;

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.
Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar


This indecisiveness can go on no longer, I can't let any more moments slip away. I have to take every opportunity and turn it inside out, milk it dry. So don't be scared honey, when I shake off my passive cocoon, and don't judge me dear, when I can't deliver exactly what I said I would. I'm trying, trying to hold back and let go, trying to feel and grasp the meaning of us without loading us down with baggage, trying to do nothing else but be myself, and to make us happy.
Link7 play tag

Birthday Wishes - The BIG 21 [Jan. 25th, 2009 05:07 pm]
1. MAC 187 Duo Fiber Brush
2. MAC 116 Blush Brush
3. MAC 213 Fluff Brush
4. MAC 217 Blending Brush
5. MAC 272 Small Angled Shader Brush
6. Diana F+
7. Map of Sweden
8. Tickets and concert buddy to Psapp / Of Montreal
9. White shirt from GAP (M)
10. Money to print FYP (oh this is so sad)
11. Exciting dates to exciting places!
12. Big BIG BIG blood red roses
13. $50 Kinokuniya voucher
14. Black Oxford Pumps from Topshop (size 7)
15. Black / Purple opaque leggings
16. Nikon FM2 body
17. Nikon Nikkor 50mm f/1.2 lens
18. Boxes of 35mm and medium format colour / bw / slide film
19. Makeup Traincase (MUST be able to hold my ENTIRE makeup collection and more)
20. Cute bags and things with deers / rabbits / cats on them!
21. Last but not least, and in my most hopeful voice I ask, "A Chanel purse?"
Link13 play tag

bathroom girl, stolen from tritest [Jan. 22nd, 2009 03:53 pm]
T1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.


IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Lived in Bars - Cat Power

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
You and Only You - The Softies

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Killing Time - The Observatory

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
The One That Got Away - Pink (whuut??)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
La Petit Punk - Miou-Miou

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Jump Up (If You Feel Alright) - Da Beat Bros. (lol)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Take Me Away - Plain White T's (totally)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Summer Days - Phoenix

WHAT IS 2+2?
President of What? - Death Cab for Cutie

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Damascus - Nerina Pallot

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Sister Brewerton - The Comas

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
I Love LA - Rilo Kiley (heee)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Batten Down the Hatch - Snow Patrol

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The Black Gate Opens - Howard Shore & Sir James Galway (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
The Counter - Psapp

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Who's To Say - Vanessa Carlton

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Bonfire - Lamb (oh lol)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Numb - Sia

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Peer Pressure - Yann Tiersen

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Big, Blonde, and Beautiful - Queen Latifah & John Travolta (iawtc LOL)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Home is Where You Hang Yourself - Her Space Holiday

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Sweet Darlin' - She & Him

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Love You - Sondre Lerche

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Citywide Rodeo - The Weepies

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Egon & Gertie - Rachel's

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Bricks - Jenny Owen Youngs (HA)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Walk On By - Cake

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Mustang Sally - Wilson Pickett

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Bathroom Girl - Air
Linkplay tag

Productivity is merely the finishing line of an essay in procrastination. [Jan. 5th, 2009 12:10 am]
It is all very interesting how all of my relationships blaze red and intense like a November 5th bonfire, and fade away into the flimsiest of ashes that blow off at the first puff of wind, leaving behind nothing but a slight singe and the lingering scent of incinerated fictional organs.

I feel nothing. Numbness encased in gelatin so all I sense are the muffled blows of what once was anger, the dampness I used to call tears, and that last fluttering effort of the wings of a dying moth called love.
Link2 play tag

Ooh it feels good to be free [Dec. 30th, 2008 12:18 am]
All the tears, the anger and sadness that I went through for her, feeling lonely and pathetic when her job kidnaps her to places where I can't follow (literally, because her workplace was out of bounds to me) and all the self-doubt when I asked myself if it was just my fault that I could never be satisfied with what she gave me, all of it is over. I loved her, still love her, and I don't know when I will stop loving her, but I have to love myself enough to stop hurting myself in a relationship that is going nowhere.

I want progress, I want romance, flowers, sleepovers, emotional fulfillment and all that leading to a commitment ceremony. I don't do flings / one night stands / endless dating with no land in sight. And this relationship was starting to look like one great big never-ending body of water, and it took my two best friends to yank me kicking and screaming out of it and onto dry land. I'm not even shedding a tear.

It was a wonderful one year with her, all the times when we were loving and affectionate, days and nights spent in each others' company, but all good things come to an end, and at least this relationship ended before it could get really ugly, so there's still some beauty left in it to hold close to my heart.

It's not as if New York City
Burnt down to the ground
Once you drove away
It's not as if the sun won't shine
When clouds up above
Wash the blues away

Are we breaking up
Are we breaking up
Is there trouble between you and I
Did my heart break enough
Did it break enough this time

Here's to all the pretty words
We will never speak
Here's to all the pretty girls
You're gonna meet

Am I breaking up
Am I breaking up
Is there trouble on the line
Did your heart break enough
Did it break enough this time

Ooh it feels good to be free
Ooh it feels good to be free
Ooh it feels good to be free

Betrayal is a thorny crown
You wear it well
Just like a king
Revenge is the saddest thing
Honey, I'm afraid to say
You deserve everything

Am i breaking up
Are we breaking up
Is there trouble between the lines
Did your heart break enough
Did it break enough this time

Ooh it feels good to be free
Ooh it feels good to be free
Ooh it feels good to be free
Link4 play tag

on Christmas mornings [Dec. 26th, 2008 05:34 pm]
When Christmas morning dawns upon you like any other day and you find yourself painting a smile on your face to match the faces of those around you, when nothing but the slippery embrace of alcohol warms your blood, and you are surprised at how this day which meant so much to you before is now an excuse for friends to spend the night reminiscing over lectures of stars and black holes, and the endearments of a loved one mean nothing but pixels on a screen, then you know that the Christmas magic of your youth has left and that you are probably going to spend the remaining Christmases of your life trying to get it back.
Link2 play tag

Off to Krabi! [Dec. 8th, 2008 01:08 pm]
I just bleached my hair with household bleach and dyed it blue, packed my bags with stacks of paper, watercolours and various sets of bikinis, put red nail polish in my purse to maximise time spent on the plane, and made my holiday playlist. We're off to Sun, Sand and Sea in Krabi!

Lots of love, I'll send you guys photos and seashells when I get back. :)
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